


Quiet in the Dark

by I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Chronic Mind Pain, Ending Includes Hope, Gen, Heavy Angst, Unresolved Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 01:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13400934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning/pseuds/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning
Summary: Anakin finally notices how the war is destroying Obi-Wan and insists on a talk.





	Quiet in the Dark

 

He was in pain.

It surprised Anakin to realize it, but the footsteps of his former master were ginger and his breath shuddered as he tried to creep into the room without awakening his sleeping former apprentice.

Anakin had turned in three hours ago, thinking Obi-Wan was right behind him, and when the older Jedi did not turn up at their room, he'd been too exhausted to go searching for him. Instead, he'd fallen into a light doze that lasted until the door slid open and Obi-Wan stealthed in.

Obi-Wan reached the bunk across the room and eased onto it, his breathing trembling as he struggled not to make a sound.

_How have I missed it?_ Anakin wondered as he watched the impressive shields locked in place all day struggle to lower. It caused Obi-Wan almost physical pain to lower them, inch by cruel inch, to try to allow his mind some rest.

And then they were down just a fraction, and such a torrent of anguish came spilling into Anakin's head that he nearly gasped aloud. He grit his teeth as Obi-Wan panicked, dragging the cruel shields up again, terrified of disturbing Anakin's sleep.

A soft moan escaped Obi-Wan's lips, so soft Anakin almost thought he'd imagined it.

All felt normal in the Force now, plates of impenetrable durasteel locking Anakin out.

_No,_ he realized.  _Locking him in. It's not about not trusting me. It's about not wanting to add to my burdens._

_He's falling apart and doesn't want to drag me down with him._

Memories surfaced, tormenting Anakin with their sharp barbs. Obi-Wan being thrown into him by an explosion, and while knocking him into the wall, not coming close to crushing him with his weight.

The way it took no effort at all to give him a hand to pull him to his feet.

The way he nibbled at his rations and then shuffled the rest off to either Anakin or Ahsoka, depending on who was closer and eyeing his almost untouched meal with ill-concealed hunger.

Anakin had even seen him give food to Fives in the past.

The way he awakened earlier, retired later—

The way his skin was turning waxy even as it tanned deep under many suns' kiss.

Anakin sat up though it made his head spin, and dropped his feet to the floor.

“Did I wake you?” Obi-Wan rasped.

Anakin closed his eyes against dizziness born of sleep deprivation. “No.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed, clearly able to read his lie. But after a second's hesitation, he murmured, “I'm sorry,” sounding contrite.

“You're not going to be able to sleep if you're so busy trying to protect me.”  
“I'm not trying to—”

“Too late, old man, I felt it.” Anakin moved to kneel beside Obi-Wan's bed, pressing his forehead against the mattress.

Obi-Wan sighed again. “It sounds worse than it is.”  
“Then prove it. Lower those shields and get some sleep. Force knows you need it,” Anakin pleaded, voice quiet.

“Then you won't sleep.”

“I'll be fine,” Anakin lied again, reaching out to squeeze Obi-Wan's cold hand. “I got some good hours in already, and I won't be able to sleep if I know you're suffering.”  
“ _Suffering_ ?” Obi-Wan scoffed. “Have I been behaving so dramatically as  _that_ ?”

Anakin didn't like the disgust in Obi-Wan's voice.

“You've been through a lot. It's okay to not come through unscathed.”  
Obi-Wan did not reply.

“Obi-Wan, it's  _okay._ ”

Obi-Wan pulled his hand away from Anakin's and rolled over, his back to the room. To Anakin.

“Obi-Wan, please.  _Now_ you're being overly dramatic.”

Obi-Wan rasped a humorless chuckle.

Anakin settled himself, determined not to leave until Obi-Wan found rest.

Sensing his intent, Obi-Wan sighed. “If I'm going to do this, you have to let me sleep. Don't hold any of this against me.”

“Okay.” Anakin could barely keep his eyes open. He doubted he would be pursuing any arguments tonight.

Anakin had to help Obi-Wan bring down the shields, the older Jedi finding the effort near impossible with how tightly curled around himself they were.

Gripping his former master's hand tight, Anakin helped him face his physical pain, helped him stop fighting it, helped him relax against the bed.

_Can't take it away, but we can bring you sleep._

The soul pain was infinitely worse.

Forced to face it, Obi-Wan's shoulders shuddered, tears slipping down his face to dampen his pillow.

Anakin's heart ached for him, and then the shields were fully down and the younger Jedi realized he would not be sleeping at all tonight.

Too much of this was caused by  _him._

_I had no idea. No wonder he fought me so hard to hide._

Obi-Wan slipped into sleep from pure exhaustion, but Anakin found he couldn't move from his master's side. He leaned his head against the bed, silent tears escaping him.

_I need to reevaluate how I treat him. How I speak to him. He's just barely holding on._ Anakin lightly squeezed the fingers he still held.

_I have misinterpreted so much. Palpatine was so wrong about you._

_So very wrong._

 

 


End file.
